I cannot reconstruct my tortured path

I cant even remember the holiday I anticipated so much just five years ago this week

I have forgotten most of their foolish causes but still vaguely recall my many rages

I barely recollect any those so very vital projects they had me work on way back then

But I do recall with fondness how often we laughed heartily as they squirmed

I don’t remember the many media events that I just could not miss

I know that I had been drinking but I don’t know what we did

I remember that we were there but not really where it was

I do not recall most of those people I see in all of your old pictures

But, my chosen memories grow ever stronger, the more that I use them

I would like to forget his blinding avarice and my unwitting cruelty

I cannot reconstruct my tortured path on this grotesquely twisted journey

It was not at all easy to notice when it started, since I turned this gray so very slowly

I do not remember where we were going but, yeah, I guess we did see that

We both just smile when they tell us that we have not changed at all

I’m not sure how we got there but I recall what we ate

You remember, it was raining, so we just sat there in the car

It takes several minutes to recite just those places where I lived

What was that expensive hobby that came and went so long ago

I have forgotten the gifts we gave each other throughout those hurried years

I don’t remember all those who kicked me down, heading for the top

His name was there just a moment ago, on the tip of my tongue

I have no idea of her name but recall the grace within her walk

Sometimes I awake not knowing if I only just arrived in this unfamiliar place

Though her memories fade, my grandmother often appears clearly in my dreams

I don’t remember the last thing she said that time just before I never saw her again

At least I have forgotten most of the shitheads who parroted stupid orders to us

I cannot understand why I routinely drank myself into an un-refreshing sleep

Yes, I remember the name of that place you’re talking about, but not a thing about it

I still remember the way you smelled in that dress you bought down in Mexico

Before a certain time I have no memories of any kind, good or bad

When I pass once more into the void there will be no more new memories made

And I still don’t know where the old ones will go when I no longer tend them