Vagabond Koans (5)

Into The Baja

pulling up in the forgiving twilight

a short walk with the dogs

evening meal prepared over gas stove

another quiet autumn night at home

………

slow driving for just one long day

early morning on a crowded six lane freeway

at sunset’s low tide one man gathers clams

his wife holds infant daughter, awaiting dinner

………

dust always raises from the earth

but never lifts again off our belongings

fills our lungs and noses

dust colors vividly the long dry ocean sunset

………

four sleek black dolphins broached beyond the break at sunset

two cars sped down the beach

an old man threw his cast net close on shore

we had arrived in good time to be there now

………

six miles down dusty washboard gravel

a flat desert shoreline with a rocky beach

muddied water and a rusted dark wreck

some kind of surfer’s paradise

………

smiling friendly leather-skinned snowbird faces

swollen with extra pounds and high blood pressure

happy to talk away the hours

warming like iguanas in the autumn sun

………

local fisherman still launch via the campground

flocks of seabirds still follow them thru

gringos bring money to their enclaves

every year more natives come to gather clams

I Blinded Myself And Things Got Better

I blinded myself and it made things seem better

I always made sure that I wished to see before I looked

I filtered out the disagreeable in realtime as I listened

I presumed and only then would I try to understand

I put things together just the way I wished that they would fit

I discarded pieces with odd shapes or unpleasant colors

I magnified and expanded that which I found pleasing

I jammed and nailed stuff together which did not really match

I ignored those facts that did not support my beliefs

I quickly forgot things I could not agree with

I did not listen carefully to everything they told me

I swallowed uncritically when it suited my agenda

I rarely played if I could not win

I left things out when I told my stories

I did not do much but still got full credit

I wasted time but let them say that I worked

I made artificial sense out of a mindless confusion

I convinced myself that there really was a trail that I followed

I questioned their false arguments to the finest detail

I overlooked things when necessary without even noticing

I bit my tongue almost accidentally instead of speaking up

I mouthed party lines paid to be written by some and spoken by others

I kept very quiet as all of that kept happening

I opened my mouth when I was certain that it was safely too late

I believed it when they said I was my own worst enemy

I blinded myself and it brought me some relief

I buried myself in their endless projects, all amounting to nothing

I crawled into the bottle on my own precious little free time

I got faith and it cured me of those questions which had nagged me

I just tithed weekly down at my media-spectacular mega-church store

I joined the club and signed up for the trip

I let others steer since I still had many things to do

I filtered my experience through a semi-permeable layer of dogma

I found the choices they presented to be clear and our path straightforward

I focused unquestioningly upon implanted inspirations

I blinded myself even though my eye had never offended me